An Exercise in Faith

Hours before a fierce storm took over the sea, Jesus ushered his disciples off the shore and went to a mountain top to be be alone with God.

Jesus knew a storm was coming. He could have planned. He could have worried. He could have helped them avoid it by keeping them on shore. But he didn’t.

Jesus did not fear, not because He knew the outcome, but because He knew God. (Let that one sink in for a second) We are rarely told the outcome of each storm and season of life, but we are constantly invited to know God more. That peace, that freedom to sit on the mountain top with God while you watch storms role in is ours for the taking. That source of calm is calling to us in a whisper just beyond the rolling seas.

Here I sit, looking at my own very literal rolling sea, as well as a vast, intimidating metaphorical one. After this week, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know where I’ll live. I don’t know where I’ll work. I don’t know who I’ll be with. I. don’t. know. anything.

Everything in my flesh calls out for me to be terrified of what’s to come when this week ends, this group leaves and I remain. I don’t just want to worry, I want to panic. I want to plan. My logic tells me to prepare. My nature is screaming at me to come up with solutions for every possible scenario I may face.

But my God is asking me to sit with him and rest. There is a storm on the horizon. In a week’s time I may be fighting to keep my boat afloat or walking calmly across the seas. But right now that doesn’t matter. Because now is my time to be filled. Now is my time to rest up. Now is my time to trust Him and obey as He calls me to a deeper level of faith.

I am here. I am sold on God’s calling and open to whatever he would have me do. It is not for me to convince others of it. It is not for me to sell others on the potential of my mission. This time, it is not for me to work out the details. He is working here. He is moving and has big plans in the works. He has secured an artist, and now he wants me (the afore mentioned artist) to wait patiently and rest as He continues to resolve the rest of His plan for this time and place.

I know my fathers voice and I treasure it. When He calls, it is my choice to listen and choose Him, or disregard it and choose myself. My heart, my dreams, my actual life and safety lay on the altar before him as a willing and willful offering. My shepherd knows me. He knows my needs: physical, spiritual and emotional. He will not let me wander. He will not let me drown. He will not lead me astray.

So I consciously choose to lay down all that I am, as I actively wait for Him; not because I know what comes next, but because I know my God. I know my God. I trust Him, and I will rest in His presence while the seas before me churn.